All lights flashing.

How do I process emotions?

Sometimes in the in-between and the waiting I have to deal with a lot of emotions. I’m sometimes frustrated, uncertain, scared, or on the opposite side, excited or full of hope—you get it. There can be many highs and lows when walking through life. 

Have you been there? 

Me too. 

And often it’s exhausting.

If I’m being honest, I don’t love emotions. It’s been a challenge working into figuring out what to do with emotions. I’m not one who lives by my emotions, I’m one who used to stuff them, then try to push them away, and not actually address them. 

That was me before.

 I honestly didn’t know what to do with them. 

Maybe that’s you too.

Sometimes emotions feel so big –like they are going to drown me or swallow me whole. 

Maybe I’m being dramatic…but hey- that’s how it feels sometimes. 

I’m learning that emotions don’t have to scare me, nor do they have to rule me. Emotions are a gift from God. He actually created them. So, I’m on this journey of figuring out what to do with them. 

I started to see emotions like the lights on your car’s dashboard. The lights are there as signals to alert you if something is going under the hood. They alter you when you need to refuel, if you need an oil change, or if something more severe is happening under the hood.  If you ignore the lights on your dashboard, you are sure to run into an issue and eventually break down.

And that’s the same with your emotions—your emotions are like a “check engine” light.

If you don’t address your emotions over time, you’re sure to overheat or break down. 

Emotions are signals telling you there’s something going on underneath the hood of your heart and mind. Emotions can let you know when somebody has crossed a boundary when you have reached a limit, if you need a break, or if you are feeling unsafe. Emotions can also help you, experience love, show kindness and empathy, stay safe, and experience joy and excitement.  Emotions are meant to help us, not control us.

There are many mixed signals on emotions that we get from the world, culture, and even religion. Sometimes we are told not to listen to our emotions, and to ignore them. We are told that we cannot be controlled by our emotions. The world tells us to do quite the opposite to follow our emotions, to listen to them. I don’t think that this is an either/or but more of a both/and situation. We don’t want to be on the polar opposites of these two views of emotions, but somewhere in the middle. We don’t want to let our emotions lead us, yet can we listen to them? Can we address them and be curious about them? Yet not let them drive our decisions? Can we figure out what’s underneath them or how to manage them in healthy ways?

Sometimes I felt like I had to hide my emotions from myself, others, or even God. Yet I have found that the safest place to process my emotions is with God. After all he knows exactly how you’re feeling and he’s there right with you to understand and help process and work through them. With his help, there can be deeper levels of insight, healing, and understanding. 

Being aware of your emotions and how you’re feeling, can help you see where there are areas in your life where you might need healing or growth or freedom. Emotions can help protect you and alert you to a boundary has been crossed. Emotions can help you in relationships to show kindness and empathy to others. 

Some emotions I’m fine with are love, joy, peace, and excitement. Others I’m not. I don’t love feeling anger, bitterness, or resentment, but if I’m honest, some of those things have been present in my life without me even knowing. My attempt to push anger aside and not deal with it resulted in bitterness and a calloused heart. It wasn’t until I was able to name them and understand them, that I realized I have a choice with how I interpret them, and what I do with them. 

It’s not a sin to feel angry, but I get to choose what I do with the anger. If I do nothing- it turns to bitterness and harbored unforgiveness. If I choose to address it—it turns to forgiveness, processing hurt, and eventually freedom.

I want to look at emotions this month in a new light, with curiosity—to look at them as signals. I want to debunk the lie that emotions are bad-  actually address them and value them, knowing I get to have the choice of what I do with them.

Let’s begin to be curious about our emotions.